My Identity

Each day I become more used to the fact that I am now someone's mom. It is quite a huge concept to wrap my mind around. There are really no words for me to describe how I feel when I think about my daughter and how right now she needs me. I am completely responsible for another human being and that thought is terrifying and yet humbling. I now have to put the needs of another person before my own. I was reminded of this fact last week when I took my daughter to the doctor. She looked completely adorable in a sassy little outfit and smelled delightful after her bath. I on the other hand had just enough time to quickly jump in the shower wash my hair and throw on jeans and a sweatshirt. She looked adorable and I looked frumpy at best. It hit me as semi comical and a bit ironic.

I will always be there for my daughter, but I realize how important it is for me to maintain my identity. I have seen some friends who have lost who they are when they become moms. They forget that they used to have interests and dreams beyond just those of their children. It is honestly really challenging for me to think about finishing out school right now. I feel like I don't have the time when I can't even get out of my bathrobe some days, and yet I know it is important for me to finish because I have already put so much time into it and it is part of the old me that I kind of miss. My challenge over the next few years is to integrate my old life with the new. I need to still go to my movie club, even though it is easier to stay home with my daughter. I need to maintain close friendships and read mindless books. My husband and I still need to spend time together and remember who we are as a couple. All of these things will help me to be the mom I desire to be and to integrate the old me with the new.